Restored

This is my one word for 2012.

It’s from one of my favorite Psalms, the 126th one. The verse that I love the most is the first:

When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dreamed.

I’ve been in such a dark and lonely valley for the most part of 2011, but I know that right beside me, my Savior stays and holds me by me right hand, and tells me constantly of His fierce, passionate love for me, even when I refuse to hear Him.

It’s been so dark that I’ve forgotten how to dream.

That’s what I’m looking forward to in 2012. Being restored.

How about you?

Our Christmas Without a Tree

Our plan last year was to get a live tree this Christmas to help support local, small business owners instead of The Man who imports trees made in China. The Man being nationwide franchises like Walmart, Target, Kmart, etc. You get the picture.

The plan was: Buy tall-ish live tree outside the Walmart on Nolensville, buy lights from inside Walmart, and head home to make an event out of tree decorating. We were even planning on getting more decorations since the ones we had were barely enough to cover our five-foot tall Kmart-bought plastic tree with built-in lights.

That was the plan.

So after Christmas 2010, our faithful little two-year old Chinese tree was returned to its box for good — taped up, and then brought to a drive-thru Goodwill Drop Off.

And then life happened this year. Hospital trips both emergency and elective came along with the loss of my part-time job, and we’ve been pinching pennies and making budget cuts since the end of August.

While I was at our organization’s Winter Conference, Kyera sent me a text message:

“Where’s our tree? I was going to put it up but it’s not in our storage.”
“Are you sure? Did we donate it? I can’t remember.”
“Oh right! LOL. We did!”

Up until yesterday, I kept thinking about getting a tree. Definitely not a live one because they’re expensive, but a Chinese one bought from The Man. A five-foot tall tree is $80 now, fifty percent off, at Target, but I just couldn’t bring myself to spend that much on a tree when that money could and should go to groceries. When your priorities are down to food, clothing, shelter, and medical bills, there’s absolutely no room for “Christmas Tree” in the budget. Or clothing for that matter. Food and shelter is far more important. And paying medical bills.

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My Thanksgiving List for 2011

I thought Kyera and I would not make it out of 2010. Little did I know that 2011 would take the cake! It’s been a medically dramatic year for us both. Medical Issues always come with their twin, Medical Bills, but I’m thankful that we work for an organization that provides insurance.

Thank you, 2011, for your ups and downs, so far:

It only makes sense that I start my list with my hospital stay on my birthday! Kyera and I were in Orlando for Every Nation’s 2011 North American Conference, Dream, at Disney World when I landed in the ER with severe stomach pain. Our human resources director, Carolyn Foster, was my nurse/nanny/confidant/cheerleader for three days, giving up her time with her family, and missing out on almost all of the conference sessions because of me and my diverticulitis. Everyone needs a Carolyn in their life.

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Occupied

There’s no escaping the fact that Americans are facing a new economic reality. The Occupy movement started on Wall Street with people taking to the streets to “no longer tolerate the greed and corruption of the 1%,” the 1% being the wealthy. The 99% are the rest of America who struggle to make ends meet. They are the ones who have “occupied” Wall Street. Occupy has since grown from the streets of New York, to other cities, including Nashville, and so has the birth of other blogs from the other percentages of wealth.

There’s the 1 percent who stand with the 99 percent, America’s wealthiest who believe in wealth redistribution and higher taxes on the rich, and then there’s the 53%, the ones who work long hours and stay away from debt who say the issue on Wall Street is an issue of personal responsibility.

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My Blurry Weekend

I hit Friday with a massive plan for the weekend. Let me qualify my definition of “massive” these days. Massive = prepare all of my blog entries for the coming week; take two of the three dogs to the vet; get my eyebrows done.

Thrilling, I know.

One and a half out of three isn’t so bad. Rocco won the vet-visit lottery and I now have fabulous eyebrows.

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Like Love Letters

I’m going through a semi-rough season right now. Semi-rough because since losing one of my part-time jobs, I’m thisclose to asking for my old gas station attendant job again. I have more bills because of my hospital birthday stay in Orlando, and with a smaller income — and having already made budget cuts — the lure of taking on any job is strong.

Don’t get me wrong. I actually enjoyed my brief time at the gas station. Minus the constant fear of robberies, that is, I loved engaging customers. I was lucky that I had that as a second job. In this economy, any single job is a huge blessing. What more two?

I have voicing projects and social media consultations on the fence so jumping back to the gas station is something I’ve been hoping I wouldn’t have to do again.

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A Life Lesson from Steve Jobs

“Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love…. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”

I came across this quote on my Facebook Wall. It’s from the status update of my former boss quoting Steve Jobs. Lynn Nawata, who used to work for our organization, left us after ten years to become the executive director of one of our compassion ministries in the Philippines, Real LIFE Foundation. She was my most favorite person to work for and with. She’s a great mentor and role model. Our former global communications director now gets to oversee a foundation that provides education scholarships for the underserved of Metro Manila and she’s madly in love with what she does.

I did a quick Google search to find the source of Mr. Jobs’ quote and found that it’s from the 2005 commencement address of Stanford University.

“I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did.”

I look back at my career and think about these words. I can’t claim that as a child or even as a young adult that I knew without a doubt what I wanted to be when I grew up. Depending on the day or my mood, I wanted to be a doctor, a nurse, an astronaut, a veterinarian, or a writer. The one thing I can claim is that life has had a funny way of putting me where I am today.

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Psyllium, Water, and Ditches

It’s been a week since this year’s Global Leadership Summit from Willow Creek Association and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking on three fronts: career, health, spirit. My unexpected hospital stay couldn’t have been more perfectly timed. Spending a birthday in the hospital because of an emergency allowed me to rethink my life.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not about to wax poetic over my “wake-up call.” I will confess though that turning forty-two with a disease that’s common for people in their sixties did prove sobering. And it didn’t help that when I let myself wander over to Facebook, photos of my high school classmates looking better than they did when we were fourteen to sixteen year olds, added to my lucid, harsh realization that neglecting my body has taken its toll.

By neglect I mean, unhealthy food choices, working twelve to fourteen hour days juggling three jobs, sitting on my butt day in and day out. Every excess came crashing down in one micro-perforation in my large intestine.

I lay flat on my back—literally—for twelve hours on a twelve-inch wide cot in the ER and I let myself fall into God’s arms. I had no more excuses. “I have updates to post!”; “I have three audiobook summaries to record!”; “Emails need to be answered!” I was done, fully spent, and just grateful I didn’t need surgery.

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